Why we decided to home-school
Let me just start off by saying that I TOTALLY understand the strange looks I receive when I say “I pulled my son out of public school this year and now we are home-schooling.” I get it. I WAS that person. I would have been at the VERY FRONT of the public school parade pointing at the home-school families and shaking my head. That is until my son needed me. He NEEDED me to step in and make a SUPER difficult decision FOR HIM. Let me start at the beginning.
Ethan is a good kid. He is a delightful kid. He doesn’t get into trouble, cause problems, or push boundaries. He LOVES school. He loves learning, being around friends, riding the bus, eating hot lunch, trading Pokemon…he loves EVERYTHING about school. Ethan is smart…like mental math, build a simple machine, remember every fact he has ever read about tigers smart. Because I KNEW how smart Ethan is and I KNEW how much he loved going to school, I ignored A LOT of signals for A LONG time about how much Ethan was struggling. He could read, he could whiz through his math homework, and I NEVER heard anything negative from any of his teachers. But I always had this niggling feeling down deep that something was JUST not adding up. Ethan’s handwriting was BAD. Not just normal little boy bad…but REALLY BAD. And even though I was reading with Ethan every day, he was just NOT getting more fluent in his reading. And honestly he was often REFUSING to read because it was a struggle. I KNEW I needed to do something, but I just didn’t know WHAT to do. So we just kept plugging along.
Second grade came and went and we just kept sending Ethan off to school…happy as a clam. He wasn’t causing problems and his teachers never voiced any concerns about his progress, so we just did what all parents do…get up, pack a lunch, and send the kids off on the bus. The REAL hard ball came when Ethan started getting weekly spelling words this year (3rd grade). We would study his words EVERY DAY. We would write them, repeat them, practice flashcards, spell the words with letter blocks…you name it…we tried it. We would practice on Monday until he could spell most of the words. Then on Tuesday, it was like we were starting from scratch. So we would start over and practice again. And it was not just that he was misspelling the words. It was that he was SOOOOO far off with his spellings that it was hard to believe he was even spelling a word at all. Our whole house was living in a spelling nightmare EVERY week when the new list came home.
Fast forward a few months to parent teacher conferences. I went to the school just like I always do. I chatted with Ethan’s sweet teacher just like always. I saw his projects, test scores, and desk…just like always. But THIS time it was different. THIS time I broke down crying in the middle of a 3rd grade classroom because I just KNEW. I KNEW that as much as Ethan loved school and AS MUCH as his teacher was trying to help him, it was not going to be enough. Not because she wasn’t a good teacher…she was. Not because he was not in a good school…he was. BUT because he needed ME. He needed ME to take the time to figure out WHY he could not write on the lines. He needed ME to figure out WHY his reading was not progressing like it should. He needed ME to stay up night after night researching and praying and planning. He needed a teacher to focus JUST on him and what he needed to succeed. Public school is amazing. Public school teachers are amazing. Public school works for A LOT of kids…but not for Ethan.
Ethan is the cutest, sweetest, funniest 3rd grade boy I know. He has MANY talents. But as hard as it is for me to admit, reading and writing are NEVER going to come easy for him. He would have been fine. He would have gone to elementary school every single day and been totally fine. But Ethan deserves MORE than just fine. He deserves to read a book and REALLY enjoy it. He deserves to be able to express his sweet thoughts through writing. He deserves to go into high-school with the SAME tools as everybody else. He deserves much more than just moving up another grade level each year regardless of where he falls on the learning curve. Ethan deserves it ALL.
The day I told Ethan we were going to home-school, was honestly one of the hardest parenting days of my life. I knew that he was going to be devastated. To be totally honest, I am bawling my eyes out right now just thinking about it. He cried. I cried. It was awful. In my heart I knew that home-school was the best choice for Ethan, but it was NOT easy. I knew that his teacher would not understand. I knew that the other parents would not understand. I knew that even my own family would not understand. But we did it. February 19th, Ethan didn’t get on the bus. We started on a journey we had NO CLUE about and just jumped right in. It has not always been easy, but I can already see that home-schooling was ABSOLUTELY the right decision for Ethan.
Truth be told, I don’t know how this story is going to end. I don’t know if our home-school days are temporary or if we will someday head back to the bus stop. I don’t even know if Ethan will EVER remember to consistently put periods at the ends of his sentences. I don’t know if his test scores will go up, down, or sideways. I just don’t know. But I DO know that I will be able to look Ethan in the eye some day and tell him that I tried my ABSOLUTE best to give him the best education he could get. Ethan does not know all of the reasons why we decided to home-school. He has no clue what dyslexia and dysgraphia even are. Those are conversations we will have to have someday soon. But for now, we are just focused on cuddling on the couch with a good book together and playing spelling games, dissecting crayfish and planting seeds. I have a lot more to say about home-school in the coming weeks, but that is a conversation for another day. We will chat soon. Jess
If you are interested in home-schooling, or have a reluctant reader, you may enjoy the following posts….
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